The following is not directed at anyone in particular. It is just an accumulation of thoughts that have developed over the past year of fostering. I was sitting and talking about this with some of the volunteers the other day, and I thought it might offer an interesting perspective.
We love visitors.
Really, we do.
We love meeting people who have followed God's call to take care of orphans, and have traveled halfway across the world to do so.
Thank you for your obedience. Thank you for your heart.
I know many of you have never been to India before. This might be your first time working with children who have been orphaned or with children who have special needs. I know it can be intimidating and even scary. These are just a few things to keep in mind that will help make your experience here even more positive!
Remember, my home is not an orphanage.
My children are orphaned, but they are also part of a family. They are loved. They are our daughters and sons. Treat our home as you would treat your neighbour's home; knock when you walk in, and introduce yourself to my child before you pick them up or play with them. I know my kids are cute and a selfie with them would make an awesome new profile picture, but please get to know them first before taking pictures, or just run it by us and let us know- we will probably say yes!
Please don't kiss my children or tell them you love them (unless you have been here long term and have developed a loving relationship with them). My kids have experienced a lot of loss and change in their lives. We are trying to teach them what it means to be safe in a family. When strangers come in and excessively cuddle them and say that they love them, it can be confusing. That said, it will make them happy if you wave hello and give them a big high five or a pat on the back!
Don't judge.
We may do things differently than you would. We have 10 kids with extensive needs, and parenting them can be difficult. You come from a world where children with special needs are given a free education and have access to many services that we don't have access to here. Remember that we are not only moms, we are nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists, and special educators. Sometimes some balls drop and as hard as we try, all our kids' needs cannot be met.
Please be understanding to how crazy this life can be. It's not that I don't want to hear your suggestions- I do! We want to make our home the safest and happiest place for our children. But if you have ideas, please offer them in a loving way. Don't moan and groan about how horrible my kids' lives are and how much more they need. I am the first to tell you that we can't give them all they need, but until they get adopted (if that happens) this is the very best that we can give them and we work tirelessly to ensure that they live rich, full lives.
My kids' history is private.
We are happy to share with you bits and pieces about our kids' histories, but for the most part, we prefer to keep that information private and not dwell on it. Our kids are listening when you ask your questions, and they notice when you talk about them and make sad faces. They aren't objects to be pitied. God has rescued them and brought them to a safe, happy place. Their past is a big part of who they are, but unless it is essential for us to share that information with you, we would rather you just focus on how they are doing now, rather than where they came from.
Above all, they are kids... just like all other kids!
Don't feel intimidated by their special needs. Sometimes they stim, or scream, or drool all over the toy you have out for them. It's okay. A lot of them don't respond to questions, and for those who speak, you might not understand what they are saying to you. It's okay. You may have never spent time with a child with special needs before, and you don't even know where to begin. It's okay.
My kids love to play. They love to dance, to sing, to ride their bikes, to throw balls, to finger paint, to swim, and to go on walks.
If they aren't interested in a certain game, try something else! Ask us for help, and we can point you in the right direction. Don't be scared to get messy and try something new, like painting the bathroom walls with shaving cream or filling the kiddie pool up with bubbles!
My kids can see your heart. If you are invested in them and want to make them happy, they will pick up on that and will have fun. And our kids LOVE to have fun!!
We love visitors.
Really, we do.
We love meeting people who have followed God's call to take care of orphans, and have traveled halfway across the world to do so.
Thank you for your obedience. Thank you for your heart.
I know many of you have never been to India before. This might be your first time working with children who have been orphaned or with children who have special needs. I know it can be intimidating and even scary. These are just a few things to keep in mind that will help make your experience here even more positive!
Remember, my home is not an orphanage.
My children are orphaned, but they are also part of a family. They are loved. They are our daughters and sons. Treat our home as you would treat your neighbour's home; knock when you walk in, and introduce yourself to my child before you pick them up or play with them. I know my kids are cute and a selfie with them would make an awesome new profile picture, but please get to know them first before taking pictures, or just run it by us and let us know- we will probably say yes!
Please don't kiss my children or tell them you love them (unless you have been here long term and have developed a loving relationship with them). My kids have experienced a lot of loss and change in their lives. We are trying to teach them what it means to be safe in a family. When strangers come in and excessively cuddle them and say that they love them, it can be confusing. That said, it will make them happy if you wave hello and give them a big high five or a pat on the back!
Don't judge.
We may do things differently than you would. We have 10 kids with extensive needs, and parenting them can be difficult. You come from a world where children with special needs are given a free education and have access to many services that we don't have access to here. Remember that we are not only moms, we are nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists, and special educators. Sometimes some balls drop and as hard as we try, all our kids' needs cannot be met.
Please be understanding to how crazy this life can be. It's not that I don't want to hear your suggestions- I do! We want to make our home the safest and happiest place for our children. But if you have ideas, please offer them in a loving way. Don't moan and groan about how horrible my kids' lives are and how much more they need. I am the first to tell you that we can't give them all they need, but until they get adopted (if that happens) this is the very best that we can give them and we work tirelessly to ensure that they live rich, full lives.
My kids' history is private.
We are happy to share with you bits and pieces about our kids' histories, but for the most part, we prefer to keep that information private and not dwell on it. Our kids are listening when you ask your questions, and they notice when you talk about them and make sad faces. They aren't objects to be pitied. God has rescued them and brought them to a safe, happy place. Their past is a big part of who they are, but unless it is essential for us to share that information with you, we would rather you just focus on how they are doing now, rather than where they came from.
Above all, they are kids... just like all other kids!
Don't feel intimidated by their special needs. Sometimes they stim, or scream, or drool all over the toy you have out for them. It's okay. A lot of them don't respond to questions, and for those who speak, you might not understand what they are saying to you. It's okay. You may have never spent time with a child with special needs before, and you don't even know where to begin. It's okay.
My kids love to play. They love to dance, to sing, to ride their bikes, to throw balls, to finger paint, to swim, and to go on walks.
If they aren't interested in a certain game, try something else! Ask us for help, and we can point you in the right direction. Don't be scared to get messy and try something new, like painting the bathroom walls with shaving cream or filling the kiddie pool up with bubbles!
My kids can see your heart. If you are invested in them and want to make them happy, they will pick up on that and will have fun. And our kids LOVE to have fun!!
